The Regret Project

Regret Now (Vol II)

Time to talk about regrets again.

As I mentioned in the first installment of Regret Now, this monthly feature is my space to reflect on regrets, admit when I’ve changed my mind, and apologize when needed. I change my mind on the regular, but consistency seems to get more love; many people see it as a sign of strength and reliability. Maybe that’s why politicians work so hard to avoid admitting they’ve changed their mind. Some evade tough questions; others outright lie.

Take Kamala Harris, for example. When asked about her shift on a fracking ban, instead of saying something like, “I’ve learned more about how this impacts the working-class people of Pennsylvania, and I’ve changed my stance,” she insisted her values had never changed. Why didn’t she just say her thinking on the topic evolved, that she changed her mind? I don’t get it. I would’ve respected her more if she’d owned up to the shift, even if it opened her up to accusations of political opportunism.

Admitting you’re wrong or that your perspective has changed is tough, especially when it feels like the world values unwavering consistency. But to me, it’s a sign of humility and growth. I admire people who change their minds when new information comes to light. People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. Owning our intellectual growth can be oddly liberating.

I feel regret all the time. Since this Substack has had me stirring the pot so much (do I regret that?), I’m sure I’ll have a regular stream of things to apologize for.

And maybe you do too.

Introducing The Regret Project: a space to share regrets, apologies, or moments where you’ve changed your mind. I want to invite you to submit your stories—big or small—for this project. I’ll publish submissions as part of a recurring feature, and if anonymity makes it easier to open up, I’ve got you covered. This monthly feature is for paid subscribers, but anyone—free subscribers or not—can send in something they want to share. Complete this handy form to send me something anonymously.

Think of this as a mini version of The Apology Project, where New Yorkers were invited in the 1980s to call a random phone number to “apologize their wrongs against people without jeopardizing themselves”. This project was recently featured in a podcast, called The Apology Line, and it revealed that many people called to confess everything from petty misdeeds to, yes, even murder. I’m not expecting anything quite so dramatic. Let’s see this how this experiment goes.

Why do this? Because admitting when we’re wrong can be freeing. It might even help us build a bit more intellectual humility. Sharing our regrets is a way to show growth, to show what we’ve learned, or to confess to having messed up and are trying to improve.

So, what do you say? Be brave. Share your story. Who knows? It might inspire others or even help you make peace with yourself. Maybe no one will send me anything, but I hope a few brave souls do. Submit anonymously. Submit to the Regret Project now!

Now, onto my regrets for the month.