Why Do Middle-Aged Men Quote This Failed Comedy to Each Other?
Happy Christmukkah to all the Little Urban Achievers out there!
Today I am reposting my love letter to my favourite movie of all time. I might just make this an annual tradition. Enjoy your time off, taking it easy for us all sinners. And if you’re in Toronto for New Year’s Eve and want to usher in the new year abiding, might I recommend you catch a screening of TBL at the Hot Docs Cinema. Thanks to my student Emily Zohar who let me in on this annual tradition.
Merry Christmas everyone. Yeah, yeah, I’m supposed to greet you with a generic Happy Holidays, but today is Christmas day, so merry Christmas it is.
I’ve always loved Christmas, which is a strange thing for a Jew to say. But what’s not to like? I love the office parties where we get to see our bosses or co-workers in sometimes compromising positions (informational hostages?). I love all the food—panettone anyone? I love the ugly sweaters. And I even love the music—my fave Xmas song has got to be Wham!’s Last Christmas. And, as a Jew, I celebrate the birth of Jesus as it should be celebrated—with other Jews stuffing our faces with Chinese food. In this spirit of giving, I decided to write a lighthearted post about my favourite movie of all time, The Big Lebowski. Think of it as a little Christmas gift for all the Little Urban Achievers out there.
I was one of those rare people who saw The Big Lebowski in a movie theatre when it was first released in 1998. While the movie became a cult classic years later, it bombed with critics and movie goers alike upon its initial release. I was in the first year of my PhD at Brown University and watched the movie with my good friend Terry McGee at the cineplex near the Lincoln Center in New York City.
I liked the movie, but it didn’t leave much of an impression and I found the plot confusing in spots. But some scenes did stay with me because they were so absurd, and when I found myself in a different state of mind (lol), they made me chuckle. Like the scene with the Black cab driver who kicks the Dude out of his cab because the Dude bad-mouthed The Eagles. I too hated (and still hate) The Eagles, so I felt like the filmmakers were speaking to me personally, showing me that my hatred was not so uncommon. Or the scene of Walter smashing a brand-new Corvette while repeatedly invoking the phrase, “You see what happens Larry? This is what happens Larry when you… find a stranger in the Alps!” These were funny scenes, but nothing more.
Then a few months later I heard my friend Kamran Diba—now a professor of neuroscience at the University of Michigan—quoting a scene, and I was amazed he had seen, let alone liked the movie. Clearly, I had missed something. The movie was out of theatres after a short run but was released on DVD (or was it VHS?) soon thereafter, and Kamran had a copy.
I watched it with him and my other grad school buddies again. And again. And again. After each viewing, the movie got funnier and deeper and more meaningful. I was in love, smitten with the Dude, Walter, and Donny, but also Maude, Jesus, Bunny, and even Knox Herrington. I started getting into the Coen brothers’ other films. What was more, I learned that other people, mostly other men, also loved the movie and watched it and quoted from it endlessly. I have since bonded with other Lebowski fans the world over and have deepened friendships based on our shared passion.
So why do I and so many other middle-aged Gen X men love this movie so much? I’ll try to explain, though it might be unexplainable—maybe it’s some kind of eastern thing.
Let’s start by crossing one reason off the list: it’s not the plot. The plot is kind of confusing. It took me a few watches to untangle it, and when I finally got it, I realized my thinking about it had been far too uptight. The truth is the plot doesn’t really matter. Even Joel Coen, one half of the Coen brothers, admitted it’s a “hopelessly complex plot that’s ultimately unimportant.” But for those whose minds are not sufficiently limber, here’s a summary to help you abide.
Spoiler Alert (Brief Plot Summary)
Loosely inspired by the detective novels of Raymond Chandler, The Big Lebowski centers on Jeffrey Lebowski, better known as The Dude, who is mistaken for a wealthy philanthropist by the same name. This other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire, is the big Lebowski. After thugs invade the Dude’s home and ruin his cherished rug, The Dude confronts the big Lebowski, only to be drawn into a bizarre scheme when the man claims his wife, Bunny, has been kidnapped. The Dude reluctantly agrees to deliver a $1 million ransom, roping in his volatile bowling buddy Walter Sobchak, who is rarely wrong but always an asshole, and the soft-spoken Donny, who is always out of his element. It’s eventually revealed that Bunny wasn’t kidnapped at all. She staged the disappearance herself, working with a group of nihilists to pocket the ransom. To make matters worse, the big Lebowski was never actually rich, living off a strict allowance from his late wife’s family, and had no intention of paying the ransom in the first place. What unfolds is a chaotic, absurd series of events where no one truly wins, but The Dude, ever unbothered, simply abides.
Again, the plot is not the issue. Forget about the plot.
So why do I love thee? Let me count the ways
1. I love the characters
First, there’s The Dude, played with effortless charm by Jeff Bridges, who somehow manages to make laziness seem heroic. The Dude gets all the love because he is easy going, carefree, tender-hearted, and quick to light a joint pretty much anywhere. He loves the band Creedence Clearwater Revival, bowling, and appears to have been unemployed for quite some time. In short, he’s a lovable 60s hippy burnout, who wears jelly shoes and Cowichan sweaters. (My awesome student Greg Depow, now postdoc at UCSD, once gifted me with a Cowichan sweater, and it is one of my prized possessions to this day). Jeff Bridges apparently strongly identifies with the Dude, too. In interviews, he’s mentioned that he sees a lot of himself in the character and has admitted to enjoying the occasional White Russian and being a bit of a hippie at heart. Bridges has also embraced the cultural phenomenon that The Dude has become.
Everyone loves the Dude. But the soul of the movie belongs to his best friend Walter Sobchak, played by John Goodman. Walter is a Vietnam vet who takes everything far too seriously, from bowling league rules to his ex-wife’s dog to being shomer Shabbos. His unhinged intensity is the perfect foil to The Dude’s laid-back apathy. His outbursts—whether he’s shouting, “You’re out of your element, Donny!” or “Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?!”—are the stuff of legend.
Then there’s hapless Donny, played with understated brilliance by Steve Buscemi. Donny spends most of the movie like a deer in the headlights, perpetually confused and constantly interrupted by Walter. Nothing captures Donny’s clueless charm better than his classic line, “phone’s ringing, Dude,” spoken with genuine earnestness to a visibly exasperated Dude, who has been very aware of his “mobile” phone ringing for the past 15 minutes.
Who can forget Maude Lebowski, played with eccentric brilliance by Julianne Moore? A feminist avant-garde artist with a flair for commanding every scene she’s in; Maude is equal parts hilarious and intimidating. Whether she’s coolly explaining that her art is strongly vaginal, which makes some men uncomfortable, or laughing maniacally while discussing the Biennale with Sandro, she’s a force of nature—bizarre, self-assured, and utterly unforgettable.
And then there are the minor characters. Jesus Quintana, played to sleazy perfection by John Turturro, struts onto the screen in just two unforgettable scenes, stealing the show with his purple jumpsuit, unsettling trash talk, and the iconic line “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.” Brandt, the big Lebowski’s sycophantic assistant, is brought to life by the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman, whose awkward attempts to impress the Dude are cringeworthy yet endearing. Even the nihilists, with their laughable incompetence and bizarre threats of cutting off the Dude’s “Johnson,” leave a lasting impression.
2. I love the eminently quotable lines
I quote The Big Lebowski in nearly every post, and anyone who’s in the know will understand: It’s not just a personal quirk; it’s what we diehard fans do. Put two or more of us in a room together, and within minutes, we’ll be volleying lines back and forth like a game of verbal ping-pong. I mean look at this incredible exchange between eight random people on Reddit each riffing off each other, and it making perfect sense… kind of. This was in response to an image of the big Lebowski, played by the late David Huddleston.
The more obscure the quote, the better. I once went to a party where I only knew a handful of people, but by the end of the night, I had new friends and a deep respect for the guy who casually dropped a line I’d never heard used before: “What are you, a park ranger now?” Instant legend.
Then there are the Talmudic debates over what any one line actually means. Take the Stranger, played to perfection by a mustachioed Sam Elliott. What does he mean when he says he takes comfort in “The Dude takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners”? Is it a profound statement about modern morality—or just a cowboy rambling? And what about this cryptic observation: “Sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, cuz what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man.” Is it a poetic meditation on The Dude’s unique place in the universe? Or does it mean absolutely nothing? What?!
And just when you think you’ve absorbed everything there is to know about The Big Lebowski, the movie surprises you with something new. A few years ago, on a camping trip, my good friend Roy Baskind (host of what has to be the best neurology podcast in the world), his friend Rodney, and I found ourselves in a heated debate over one of Walter’s many memorable lines: “Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.” To me, it’s obvious: Walter is berating Donny for his usual, well-meaning cluelessness. But Rodney passionately argued that Walter is addressing the big Lebowski, whose gift of a beeper had clearly gotten under Walter’s skin. It turns out we hadn’t stumbled upon some hidden gem of Lebowski lore; this quote has been debated by fans for years. Like everything else in this movie, even a single line opens new layers of absurdity and discussion.
3. I love all the cuss words
My father-in-law—hello, Fred!—who also happens to be this Substack’s biggest fan, once expressed concern about all the swearing in my posts. He might as well have quoted the Stranger himself: “Do you have to use so many cuss words?” But Fred, fine man though he is, is not a fellow Little Urban Achiever. He doesn’t realize that whenever I let a swear fly in this Substack, I’m quoting The Big Lebowski. Every single time.
And let’s be clear: this movie swears. A lot. The word fuck is used 292 times in The Big Lebowski. That averages out to about 2.4 uses per minute, making it quite possibly the sweariest film produced in Los Angeles County, which would place it in the running for sweariest worldwide. It’s not just the frequency but the sheer variety of ways the word fuck is delivered—angry, confused, dismissive, philosophical—that adds to the movie’s charm. Few films have ever used swearing so charmingly.
If you want proof (and a good laugh), here’s a mashup of every single f-bomb in the movie
And that’s why, when I quote from The Big Lebowski, the cuss words are non-negotiable. Without the profanity, the quotes wouldn’t just lose their charm, they’d be unrecognizable. “Who are you, man?” just wouldn’t have the same impact without that f-bomb. The swearing is essential.
4. I love its absurdity
You already know the plot doesn’t matter, but that barely scratches the surface of how bizarre and delightfully absurd The Big Lebowski truly is. Take The Stranger, for instance: who is he? Why is he a cowboy narrating a story about bowling in Los Angeles? And why is he sipping sarsaparilla like it’s 1885? Then there’s The Dude’s landlord, Marty. What on earth was his interpretive dance performance, his “cycle,” his… “what-have-you”? Did they actually put Donny’s ashes in a Folgers coffee can? The movie is a fever dream that never bothers to explain itself, and that’s exactly why it’s brilliant.
And the musical numbers—what even are those? Valkyries in bowling alleys, Saddam Hussein handing out rental shoes, all set to retro tunes that somehow make it all work. These dreamlike interludes are as ridiculous as they are mesmerizing.
And then there’s the fan culture, which is almost as absurd as the movie itself. There was Lebowski Fest, which started in Louisville, Kentucky, in 2002—a glorious celebration of all things Dude—but sadly, it’s no longer running. Other gatherings, however, have popped up to fill the void. And the merch. Oh, the merch. There used to be a shop in New York City, right around the corner from where I worked at NYU, that sold nothing but Lebowski-themed stuff. My friends know how much I love the movie, so every year I get at least one Lebowski-related gift. Over the years, I’ve received t-shirts, bobblehead dolls, Creedence tapes (yes, actual tapes), talking bowling pins, Lebowski art, sweaters, bowling shirts, and even books. You name it, I’ve probably unwrapped it. There’s even an art project called the Little Lebowski Project, where fans photograph miniature figurines of The Dude and Walter in iconic or bizarre locations around the world.
The absurdity of The Big Lebowski spills over into every aspect of its fandom, making it a phenomenon as strange and endearing as the movie itself. Some fans have even transformed the world of The Big Lebowski into an actual religion: Dudeism. A few years ago, I embraced the absurdity and became an ordained Dudeist priest. Let me know if you need someone to officiate your wedding—I’ll bring my own bathrobe.
So, this Christmas, I hope you’ll accept this love letter as my small token of appreciation for a movie that has brought me endless joy. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to pour yourself a White Russian, settle in, and let The Dude guide you through the chaos. If you don’t love it, watch it three more times. And if you have seen it, well, pour yourself a drink anyway, because the world could always use more people who abide.
To all the Little Urban Achievers out there, I hope this holiday season brings you peace, absurdity, and maybe even a rug that really ties the room together. And to all my Substack readers and subscribers, I appreciate you.
Merry Christmas, man.
To celebrate this Christmas Day ode to The Dude, I’m holding a new Lebowski contest. I’ll comp two lucky winners with a 3-month paid subscription to this Substack—but here’s the catch: the winners will be the ones who come up with the most obscure Lebowski lines or quotes in the first 24 hours. I’m talking about the quotes that I haven’t thought about in years, the deep cuts buried beneath the iconic ones. So think hard, dig deep, and drop your best obscure line in the comments. Bonus points if you do it in your Christmas-day pajamas, White Russian in hand. Let the quoting commence!
Big Lebowski references really tie your substack posts together.
You don’t like it? Well, that’s just, like, your opinion man… 😆
Delicious absurdity and as quotable as “Withnail and I”.
I do wonder whether we Gen X dudes like quoting movies and TV so much because we weren’t able to replay them on demand. To relive them we had to perform them or await a rerun…