Merchants of self-control do a brisk business. In psychology departments, TED talks, and bestselling books, we're sold the same seductive story: if you can just muster enough willpower in the moment—resisting that cookie, hitting the gym, focusing on work instead of TikTok—you'll unlock the secret to the good life. Better health, better relationships, more money.
I should know. I was one of them, though not a particularly successful one, as all those unanswered emails to book agents will attest. (Any book agents interested in an apostate’s take on self-control? I'm your man!)
As a psychologist studying self-control for over two decades, I helped peddle this narrative. I wrote papers, gave talks, and advised everyone within earshot that the key to success was developing better willpower.
But I was wrong.
In a new paper with the brilliant Brent Roberts, we unpack why almost everything we thought we knew about self-control might be wrong. The problem started with how we spoke about self-cont…
